Sunday, September 12, 2010

Fear and Loathing…

Imagine your worst fear and multiply it by 1,000,000 and you probably come somewhere close to how i feel about my biggest fear.

before i tell you what it is, you need to understand just how bad it is for me. I shake, sweat, panic, cry, I hyperventilate, i feel like my heart will jump right out of my chest. I cant sleep properly if i think about it. So what is it that does this to me…..


ok so you’re probably like HAHA, but the thought of dying absolutely freaks me out. It runs through my mind like a black and white movie.

I see nothing but darkness and my coffin in the ground and I never see my baby or husband or anyone ever again. there’s no music. I cease to exist. I can’t even explain it well enough without wanting to cry.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and I need to have “Faith” but how exactly will faith help me overcome this fear and faith in what ?

How do normal people go about daily life not breaking down and having panic attacks about this and surely to a certain extent this is somewhat normal. I loathe myself because i feel this way !

other people have “Irrational fears” what’s yours and how do you cope with it ?  to find yours